In loving memory
When my mother died it was crystal clear that the appearance or the experience I was witnessing of a body dying was not ultimate TRUTH…It was intuitively understood and felt that all experience…whatever ‘happens’ is not ultimate Truth…the eternal…unchanging Being does not falter and is most certainly not affected at all by experiences….it is not that it is without compassion…it is that it is only Aware of its SELF…this SELF…this Absolute Truth is only Love…knows only love…knows only completion and wholeness….eternal togetherness or Oneness…it knows know separation…
Separation is a game played by consciousness within in an illusionary platform of space and time….
It was so clear to me on the death of my mothers body that NOTHING REAL CHANGES…everything that is real stays EXACTLY the same throughout eternity…birth of a body…relationship dynamics…death of a body…ALL happens within the eternal…unchanging Supreme Being that we ALL are…My love for her in my play…her love for me in the play was all that was ever REAL…and that love is complete…pristine and untouched by the apparent death of her body….Love really is eternal and unaffected by anything in within the illusion of time…
She was never really limited to that body….She was Supreme Being…Love… appearing…for a time…as my mother…this was so clear to me now…within and underneath all of the human emotions one encounters upon the death of a loved one…
As I held her lifeless body… shock…despair…sadness…devastation…grief…primordial screaming and desperate confusion all appeared within the eternally still..unchanging container of love…THAT I AM…that my mother is…That we ALL are…
Nothing real essentially changes….EVER…
How could there ever really be a parting of any kind when there was never a true separation of any aspect of Being from Supreme Source….
This realisation of the Supreme…eternal Being that we ALL always were…are and will be forever more…can only be felt within the heart…
When the individual is still enough it will feel its source…it will sense its interconnectedness with Eternity and all dreamed appearances…It will be realised by every individual eventually that NOTHING REAL EVER ENDS OR DIES…
In this Silent…Still place you will NEVER be separated from your loved Ones…You will know that Nothing Real ever changes….
Only Love is REAL….and its dance within creation plays on forever more…
and this blissful knowing is not a destination…it is HERE…NOW…
As I sit now and write under the shade of one of her favourite trees at the beach I contemplate how initially on her passing…that there was a grit and determination here to not allow the ‘thoughts’ of her absence to destroy me…to upset me…to hum melancholic melodies of maudlin melodrama…there was a conviction here to only focus on her presence…through years of overcoming depression and negative thinking and through my work as a therapist and my spiritual research and deep inner exploration I’ve come to understand and appreciate that ‘thought’ simply is not true…that only thought punctuates the quiet…eternal stillness of Being…only ‘thoughts’ of her absence caused upset…
Yes grief naturally moves through the body/mind and opens and purifies the heart of ignorance, but I had the distinct feeling that to succomb to self pity was the easy road…that a true honouring of the strong and beautiful being that she had represented would be to ‘enjoy’ life…as she had…
I felt her communicate to me the day after her funeral ….I was speaking to her…asking her how would I ever be able to look outside at our pool again in full knowing that her beautiful silver grey head would never again bob along joyfully…as it always had during those beautiful…endless…Australian summer days…
She clearly communicated to me that my joy was now her joy…that she could only be with me in my happiness…that is where she lives now…in truth…in eternal…boundless…joy…that as I swim and enjoy the pool her eyes are my eyes…my movements are her movements…there is no separation in REALITY….now we are One…closer than any physical interaction could ever be…
I felt as if she could no longer believe in suffering…that the dissolution of the physical body delivers that ultimate Truth…that it is only the belief in separation that sustains suffering….
Why wait until physical death to celebrate this ultimate Truth…
We are One…and that One is eternal…and knows know suffering…
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